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The Enemy Within: Death on the Reik (S2E1)

(originally posted 5 Sep 2018)

We were well rested, and the horrors of the previous night were mostly exorcised. The plan was to get the coinage we had won for ourselves elsewhere, and to rarely if ever speak of the incident again. I cannot speak for certain if Chaos will stop hounding our travels, but we can only hope. Harbull, he's writing or as he calls it "trendscripting" (transcribing, the word is transcribing) this telling as we speak, opted for travelling along the river via boat or barge towards Weissbruck. The reason for this was to practice the fine art of physick and other such matters of humours, bone structure, and so on.

I, Harbull, as Johann takes a short snort of his drink, would also like to note that learning from my mentor how to sell blue tinted water as an elixir convincingly is good for money on the side.

Where was I Harbull? The other choice we had? Yes! It was to pursue a blasted associate of that thankfully slain devil Teugen, who we now knew was residing in Grissenwald north-west of Nuln. This was quickly dismissed for now as we truly had enough of Chaos for the time being. Instead, the Weissbruck journey was chosen as it would also lead us to Wanda’s wizard mentor in Altdorf past the Weissbruck Canal. The next question, more importantly, was how to even get there. A scheme was concocted of buying a barge or boat, pretending we were pilgrims with holy relics and church equipment by wearing robes and then sailing along our merry way. We soon realized the cost of a river-worthy vessel and jettisoned the idea in favour of just tagging along with a barge. The experience I had on the Reik quickly allowed me to find employment on the ship. This allowed me to avoid the fee for the journey, but I paid for the rest of my companions without hesitation. I’m afraid my generosity may come to an end for now, I have but one crown left, but I am still happy with my decision nevertheless.

The crew of the barge were a friendly but gossiping lot, with the usual fixation on telling tall tales. The familiarity of it all made me feel at home. While below deck, we heard rumours of an imprisoned noble in a tower:

“He has a rat’s tail and was locked up for being an abomination!”

“Nay, says I, it is rather a matter of the man secluding himself to practice communion with the Chaos gods!”

“Nonsense, the man simply knows how to overthrow such and such noble with this and that…”

It went on like this for quite some time. I personally believe every one of these rumours holds a sliver of truth and I hope to never deal with this Machiavellian man-rat Chaos priest. We heard surprised yells of horror from above.

On the main deck, near starboard we espied a floating corpse slowly drifting past with a trail of blood. Werner called for the barge poles quickly and, before too long, the mangled cadaver was hauled on board. A quick inspection by our good physician Harbull confirmed two things: its death could be obviously attributed to the crossbow bolts stuck in its spine and the gashes could be from a blade or, more disturbingly, talons.

After about ten minutes down the river, the dreadful tension was broken by a hoot from the trees towards starboard. Like that of an owl? I’ve been in the country long enough to know how odd that is, but Wanda’s yell of “THEY’RE NOCTURNAL CREATURES YOU MORONS!” helped the rest of us catch up. Soon after that, we found a stationary river-boat on the same side as that corpse had drifted. It was quiet, and the only crew we could see on that vessel were piled into what looked like recently mutilated corpses. It was a ghastly sight that proved too much for the sailors but I could see a ship that, with a little less blood and a stench of death, could be a fine vessel for me to commandeer. I was across to that boat as quickly as a dwarf seeing a keg of Bugman’s across a tavern… Not that I blame them of course, I’ve heard only good things about that brew. Werner tried to stop me but he was forced over by my enthusiasm, as was Harbull.

As soon as we set foot on the main deck, our earlier imagined terrors were fully realized. From below the ship itself came a hideous swarm of tentacles that grasped blindly for us. On the bow in front of me, emerging from the trees landed a hideous, winged owl thing that I cannot believe was once a man. Finally, to finally cap off the shit we were knee deep in, foul mutants emerged from below deck. Our crossbow bolts did not fire true, and Werner was snatched by the tentacled beast. Looking towards port, the sailors on the barge were helplessly panicking. The owl-thing deftly evaded my sword swings and nearly clawed my eyes out. They forgot one thing, however.

We have the best damn slinger in the entire empire.

A beaked mutant’s head was soundly cracked by Harbull’s sling stone and Wanda fired a small bolt into the flank of the owl-thing, giving it pause briefly. I held my shield up, looking for the opportunity to end this sorry creature. I heard the following from the other ship:

“ARR, LET US FIGHT THESE SCURVY CHAOS DOGS!”

… Wanda?

She from their aft swung across to our river-boat with a knife in her mouth, like one of the dread pirates of the old tales! The owl-thing narrowly avoided her kick to the beak, but it was startled and distracted. Perfect. I brought my sword down and split its head in twain like an apple. Werner cut a slew of tentacles to pieces and drove the beast from our vessel. The rest of the mutants, after being assailed by sling stones, did the smart thing and ran. We shot one of the bastards (one with a skull face with eye-stalks like a snail) and the rest fled.

Werner went below deck and found the only survivor. She told us what had happened and was distraught. Can’t blame her. Frankly I grow worried about how I’m getting used to this sort of thing, but I digress. A plan was set to deliver the mercantile goods on this barge, collect the fee and claim the barge as our own since the rightful heir had been cruelly slain by ungodly mutants.
I have been discharged from my position of crew member of the other mercantile barge, and now command this blood-soaked vessel. Now, what to name it…

Signed Johann… no, make that Captain Dasbuut.

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