The daylight outside trespassed through the portcullis behind us and lay there upon that murky den. We gave one last look to the outside world before readying our armaments and marching forth into the darkness. It's always a scary thing, losing that light, but it has to be done. Sentry rooms were all around us, as far as I could tell, surrounding a central room to the north of where we entered. The most distinctive part of this goblin pit were the snores. The sentries weren't exactly attentive to invaders! Probably didn't get many. Shrieks of a large bird could be heard to the west, which forced us to take a moment and reckon what the hell it could be. I remember mumbling something about a mutant canary with two screaming heads. Seemed about right for Chaos, that seemingly eternal foe! Worryingly these goblins paid no heed to this ungodly sound. They must have terrifying war beasts, I thought! Darkness of the underground does things to your mind, unlike the quiet beauty of a fishing trip. Hours of doing nothing and catching fish with only two eyes. Ah, those days are like a lost dream now...
Two goblins, bony and weak fellows with meagre swords and tattered armour. Charge, and may the bastards rue the day they took this dwarf home! I swept the leg of one with Fiendcutter, no, cut off the whole bloody foot! It flew like a finely kicked snotball and the goblin's bloodcurdling scream of pain was like the followers of a losing team. Werner kicked open the door to the western chamber and found a goblin with the warty head of an eagle! It gave a last, feeble squawk as the door slammed shut. Mutant blood oozed out under the door soon after. The One slew a sleeping sentry and Blessed Jim struck off the nose of the other scrawny guard! To the north east, goblins began barking orders at each other and sounded like they were going berserk. It sounded like a small warband was hastily grabbing their war gear! I cleaned Fiendcutter's blade and stood ready to face the horde. Gritting my teeth, I looked over at Jim who was walking towards that door and wielding a... bed? Oh, yeah, good idea. We blocked that room to the west with whatever we could find and the goblins were furious. Took a passage east, then northward. On the way we saw giant pigs, no doubt bred and trained for war, with saddles. They snorted. We let them be.
Monkey lizard noises were the last thing we expected as went around a corner to a western passage. Mr. Crumbles popped out of my coat pocket and tried to join the shrill conversation. Nearly left me deaf, it was far worse than any daemonic roar or howl! I had to get him to shut up or else the whole quest would be in peril! My attempts at diplomacy went as follows:
"OOOOOOKKKKK AH AH AHHHHH!" He began
"MR. CRUMBLES PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF SIGMAR YOU CAN'T..." I implored him.
"Ow ow ow ow ow ow OWAUHHH AHHHHHHH!" He retorted.
"SHUT UP OR I'LL PAINT YOU GREEN AND THROW YOU TO A DWARF SLAYER!"
Not a single peep after that. What, The One? Oh, yes, I shouldn't make monkey noises that loudly. You're right, I'm sorry.
To the northernmost point of the goblin lair was a large iron gate. Werner got very angry at Enzio for being so cowardly. I told our marine to give him a break, as he was only a mule. Mainly because I was also very scared at the time. The goblins had left us a warning on the gate, actually many, but one stood out from the rest: "DETH". We had no choice but to continue past this omen. It was locked. Damn. I announced my intention to pick the lock and with a slick gesture unsheathed my knife. I pointed it towards the lock and, ah, I managed to scratch the insides of the lock a lot... despite my efforts the thing wouldn't open! The chambers to the east were our best bet to find the keys. We burst through the west door of the nearest chamber and were face to face with the chief of the goblins! He was almost as fierce as a hobgoblin, sitting on his fur rugs with his concubine and bodyguard. They sprung to action but we were faster! I struck a mighty blow on the bodyguard and Jim deftly disarmed him. Our marine loomed over the chieftain and broke his spine with one fell strike! His lover was struck down before she could even attempt to slay one of our warriors.
We took the goblin bodyguard prisoner and asked him questions about the floor below us. He said only "Ratscrote" the wise goblin would know anything about that. We forced him at sword point to convince Ratscrote to leave his foul abode. After a few mutterings in goblin, our prisoner returned to us and told us that Ratscrote would not leave. Werner was not very pleased. He ran into the room with Death Dealer drawn and suddenly we heard... nothing? I stepped inside and found him lying against the wall. Wait a minute, I thought, Werner doesn't take naps on the job... he's been cursed by sorcery! I picked up his wizard-killing blade and sent the bloody wizard's head flying. Purple gashes streaked across his skull before a blast of that same colour erupted from them. His head burst at these magical seams and splattered all over his chamber. I searched his robe and there were no keys! Shite! I picked up Werner and told my crew that we needed to quickly leave. Hastily we reached the iron gate and pondered what to do. The One had another spell that would just do the trick... a sudden rush of force loudly smashed the bolts on the gate!
The goblins were all alert by now but they would probably not have the bravery to dare tread into the depths below. Probably. A hallway of great dwarven statues and architecture was before us, its former majesty diminished by the fallen rocks that smothered the place. We crept through the hallway into a large chamber that contained a sleeping dragon! Well, I've already mentioned it but even a sleeping wyrm can be truly terrifying! Yodri appeared and warned us not to wake him up, as he had only been asleep for about eighteen years...
So now I am truly ready to enter the second floor. It feels cold and untouched for centuries, a ghastly ruin containing twisted shreds of a former wonder. The Empire will be the same if we do not retrieve the hammer swiftly!
FOR THE EMPIRE!
Johann Dasbuut.
Comments